One of my many great fears is my fear of being truly, objectively, boring. Though, many of my fears I admit are irrational, this one I am almost certain has blinding evidence. Too many silences have hung in the air between me and another person, even those I am close to. And yes, I understand, that silence between two people can represent a sense comfortableness in a relationship but the frequency at which it happens and my absolute inability to think of ANYTHING remotely interesting, fun or intriguing begs to answer the question, if I really have anything up there at all. Recently, while ‘chatting’ over skype, the conversation bounced from what’s new at school, to, er..whats new at school. And while I tried to think of anything that had happened to me recently of particular humour, or interest, nothing came to mind. Well, what else do people talk about? Cause I have no clue. Literally not one. How does a conversation flow between people? Is my mind really, just a big blank? Then I was thinking, it’s not that nothing funny hasn’t happened to me recently. In fact, I’ve been having some good laughs lately. But my ability to describe a situation (or anything for that matter) is lacking. I tried picturing myself explaining one funny moment this week; I mistakenly thought some young men outside of the Library were giving away Frisbees for a small donation. A semi-awkward and confused conversation followed and I went on my merry way chuckling at my typical antics. The way I imagined explaining this in my head falls pretty flat. But part of being a good writer is being able to bring stories to life, and show the reader the feelings and meanings of what is or was happening. And if I can brush up on that skill, maybe it will help my conversation skills as I really should be able to transfer that ability over. Right?
So here’s to hoping, and hard work!